The Danger with Shoes
by XxheartsyouxX
Summary: Toph never liked shoes. But Zuko makes a stupid mistake and chaos will surely ensue. Two hotheads clashing is always fun! Toko. My attempt of humor.


A/N: I don't own A:TLA!

* * *

Water ran down her back and sprayed over her face. Mist curled around the air, mixing in with the fragrance of lotus blossoms. Streams of water ran down her legs and flowed into the drain.

"Mmm."

After sweating during a good sparring match with her beloved Sparky, the cool water always relaxed her tense muscles. It loosened her and refreshed her.

Toph had finally become accustomed to baths. Hey, just because she liked her "healthy coating of earth" doesn't mean she can't like being clean.

She didn't know what she was thinking back when she was younger. Showers felt so good.

She finally liked being clean.

But there was one thing that she would, never, _ever_ get used to.

Hell, she wouldn't even look at them.

But there they were wrapped up in a small box outside her bathroom door.

Dripping all over the floor and only wearing a towel, she carefully stooped down to get a closer "look" at the small object.

She pulled at the silky ribbon lightly and the box fell apart.

And there they were.

They stood there, watching her.

The most infernal, horrible, evil, _wicked _things that man kind had ever created.

_Shoes._

* * *

He could not believe it. How could he have switched the boxes? How could he have been so careless?

The Fire Lord was about to be murdered.

By his own wife.

He paced around the room as if trying to create a hole in the floor.

Uncle frowned, "Zuko,"

"You are going to burn my rug, look, it's already smoking!"

Zuko didn't seem to hear him.

"It was very expensive, I could have bought a lot of tea with that much money, you know!"

His uncle sighed.

"A wise man faces his problems and embraces them, while a foolish one will run away straight into the direction of a fire."

Even in his early twenties, he could still not decipher Uncle Iroh's strange sayings.

Perhaps he never would.

* * *

Shoes? Shoes? SHOES?

Who in hell's name would give Toph Beifong SHOES?

They obviously were out with a death wish.

Her logic was simple. Why wear shoes when you didn't need them? Like fancy clothing, what good did it do you? Her earth bending was better without them, plus they made it harder for her to see. She suspected the feeling was like if you were to look through fogged glass. That's what it felt like to her.

If badger moles didn't have to wear them, why should she?

She searched all over the box, trying to find a clue of who had given such a horrible gift. Toph already suspected someone, but he wouldn't dare.

But there it was. She could feel it.

It was the seal of the Fire Lord.

"Ooh," she thought, steaming, the Fire Nation is going to need to find them selves a new Fire Lord very soon.

* * *

Zuko continued pacing. He was dead. Dead. DEAD. Katara's gift was right there, and Toph's was over there. How in the world had he confused them?

Well, he had used the exact same gift wrap. And the same ribbon. Oh and not mention that the gifts both weighed the same.

"It was an honest mistake," he began to tell himself. He scratched his chin.

Katara's birthday was coming up soon. Toph obviously knew that. Maybe she would somehow make the connection.

The more he thought about the idea however, he convinced himself less and less.

It instead turned into a jumbled, ridiculous mess.

"Maybe, maybe, uhm, Momo will fly over! He'll come and visit Toph and have Katara's necklace! Yeah, and a birthday candle! So, she'll get it. And Katara loves shoes, so…"

His train of thought had long passed the rail of where Toph's understanding was sitting by.

* * *

She could not understand any of this. They weren't even the ones that she had seen in the market the other day that were _REMOTELY _cute. Those tiny moccasins that had tiny rock beads attached to them. Badger moles were carved in flint and were attached with leather on the top of the small footwear. They even had animal fur inside. And having earth on them was a plus.

I mean, seriously, if you HAD to wear them, she decided they should at least be comfortable like that.

But of course they weren't.

They were high heels. HEELS. And to add to that, they were stilettos! Did he want her to die?

They were made of lace and pearls it seemed. The pearls were strung around the front, and also woven into the material. It seemed like a very expensive item. She supposed most women would kill for these.

But Toph was not most women.

While most would kill to have them, she would kill whoever had given them.

"Looks like someone wants another little spar," she grumbled.

She blew her bangs out of her face, tossed the rest of her hair into its usual messy bun, and then threw on her usual garb.

Once she was settled into her usual attire, she cracked her knuckles.

"Time to break some rocks," she grinned wickedly.

Oh, and a few Fire Lords as well.

* * *

Iroh watched this interesting scene unfold. It was very amusing, to watch his nephew, it was better then most plays he had seen.

Especially the Ember Island Players.

_ANYONE _was better then the Ember Island Players.

Soon enough, the Fire Lord began to grow angry.

It was not his fault! His mistake seemed reasonable. It's not like he did something _bad_. Like when he almost dropped her space rock bracelet into the ocean.

He did not deserve this!

Why should he be afraid?

Why should he feel threatened?

Who should dare intimidate the ruler of the Fire Nation?

But then the answer to all his questions came bursting through the door with such power that Uncle's tea spilled over.

Fire Lady Toph Beifong.

There was yelling.

There was foul language.

There were insults.

Hell, there was even chair throwing.

Uncle Iroh crept out of the room slowly, praying to the spirits that they would decide to save his beloved nephew.

Zuko was genuinely frightened. He did not know what would happen. He didn't want to fight. This would be no friendly spar.

When all seemed to break loose, Toph stomped her foot down.

And it was straight down into an earth bending stance.

Zuko cringed, closed his eyes, waiting for an enormous boulder to come flying, hopefully to dodge it.

And then…

"Plink."

What the spirits?

He opened his eyes and looked at the floor.

It was a tiny pebble.

Toph had flung a small, measly rock at him.

It was so small it could have been a piece of sand!

He almost started to laugh when he saw his wife's face. She was smirking in the most deadly looking way.

"Oh Sparky, you think I'd hit you know, when it's most expected? Oh, no, no, no," she replied shaking her head laughing.

She was at his side instantly whispering in his ear, "I'll find you when you least expect it, lurking in the shadows, hiding in your every footstep. You better watch out Sparky."

A shiver ran down his back, she was the scariest thing he had ever met.

All while being creepily seductive at the same time.

"She must be demon," he thought.

Toph turned, "You can think of it this way, remember? Hitting people is how I show affection. That's why you get a pebble. I don't love you very much right now."

She winked, "Have fun Princess" then she shut the door.

Zuko had never been more terrified in his life.

* * *

It was five days since Toph had flung a pebble at him, and his paranoia only grew each day. Zuko swore he had lost so much weight considering how much he had sweat.

He only stepped out of his Uncle's room if it was absolutely necessary. He had been staying there because, for spirits sake! Who knows what Toph could do to him while he was sleeping…

He wiped his brow and blew out a sigh. Zuko placed his hands on the door, the pushed very quietly. Still holding the door, he tip-toed out.

"Creeak."

"Shit!" he ran back, grabbed the door, slammed it, then starting fumbling with the locks. He ducked under the covers and would stay there until a triple knock whistle knock would come. Only then would he unlock and unchain the door for his Uncle.

But for now he would stay under the covers. Where it was safe.

From Toph at least.

* * *

_Fear_.

Zuko lived each and every day in fear.

Who was that around the corner?

Was that person following him?

THAT SERVANT IS A SPY.

The spirits must have been laughing at the Fire Lord's dismay.

Oh what a joy he was to watch.

And that's exactly what Fire Lady Toph Beifong was doing.

Well not "watching" watching.

She had a servant attach a sort of ear piece and microphone thing to his clothing.

She heard his every footstep,

Scream,

And thumping heartbeat.

It amused her to no end.

She was having the time of her life. She had almost forgotten about the dumb shoe present.

Almost.

* * *

Toph still wondered about it. Why in spirit's name would he give her shoes? She was so confused. He of all people should know, hadn't he already made this mistake before as well? She scratched her head. Questions swam through her pale, unseeing eyes.

That was it.

It was killing her. Why the HELL did he give her a present anyways? She was going to find out.

So she stormed towards Uncle's room.

* * *

He was done. Absolutely DONE. Zuko could not take this anymore. The paranoia was eating him away so much that he imagined death itself must be a much more peaceful fate.

Not that he wanted to die.

He was no spineless ruler! Why in spirit's name was he so afraid of his wife anyways? Though all his friends were he supposed.

Aang seems too nice to disobey Katara.

Obviously Suki wore the pants in THAT relationship.

Zuko could have sworn that men were supposed to be the more dominant gender.

Though his sister was always ten times more dominant than he.

He scowled. That was it. He was confronting her. Hell if she took the entire world and crashed it on him, he could care less. This was getting out of hand.

So he stormed through the palace to find Toph Beifong.

And storm they did, right into each other.

She was so surprised she fell to her feet since she was still so much taller then Zuko.

He was so surprised he shot fire straight down at her.

Right at her feet.

"Oh shit," he thought once he realized what he was doing. "How many mistakes can I redo?! The spirits really hate me don't they."

Thankfully, there was an earthen vase right there, which Toph used to block the stream of fire that nearly burned her "eyes".

Oh she could not wait to hear this one.

* * *

Zuko helped her onto her feet, apologizing, and she started to open her mouth. But before she could even breathe, he started spitting out words like fire.

"Okay, Toph. I know you're really mad and spirits if I were you I think I'd be mad too knowing you and how you are. Plus I already did this before as well and oh no, sidetracking again. Anyways, well, uhm as you can guess or maybe not, that present wasn't for you. It was for Katara because it's her birthday soon and she really wanted those shoes so I bought them. Well, anyways please, please, I'm so sorry about everything and can you just please punish me right now, because I'm dying. I can't eat, sleep, think, or move. It's horrible, and it was all just a huge mistake. So please, can you just hit me right now or something. Because you know I love you and-"

Then all of a sudden Toph started laughing.

"Oh"

"Spirits"

"Shoes"

"Punishment"

That's all Zuko could get from her giant guffaws every time she gasped for air.

She wiped tears from her eyes and slowly calmed down.

Toph pushed hair out of his face.

"Of course I know you love me, and I love you too, so, so much. But you're just too funny Hothead."

He stared at her with blank eyes.

She continued, "Your punishment WAS me not doing anything. Having you all paranoid, fear eating you inside and out. You should see yourself!"

She began her loud laugh again.

Toph hugged him, "I'm so sorry, you're punishment is over, and it was horrible, but you have to admit it was funny. And for giving me shoes."

Then she socked him in the gut and he collapsed onto his knee.

Zuko gasped, and then coughed. She was back definitely. And he was glad. He smiled and she knelt beside him.

"See, now you know I love you again!" she replied while kissing him lightly. "But I have to know, why did you give me shoes?"

It was now his turn to laugh. Zuko laughed and laughed. He shook his head. "Here, this should explain it." He had said after he was done.

She picked up the box. It looked exactly the same. It was the same ribbon and wrapping paper. Not that she could tell.

She slowly lifted up the silk and pulled.

The box came apart and she picked up the small object inside delicately.

It was a rock.

* * *

"Uhm." She sort of stared at it for a while. "Symbolism? What the hell?" It wasn't even a heart shaped rock or anything. It was just a rock.

It wasn't one she was very familiar with though. Perhaps a different element?

"Watch this," he whispered in her ear.

Then he scooped her up, leaving her mostly blind, surprising her.

"Hey!"

Then Zuko dashed towards the gardens.

He laid her onto the grass. It smelled sweet outside. The sun was shining and there was an ocean of blue sky.

"Now flip it."

Flip it? The rock? Toph was more confused then ever. She slowly complied.

"And hold on tight," he said teasingly.

Hold o-? And all of a sudden a huge tug dragged her through the dirt and almost made her fall on her face.

She created a block of earth under her feet so she could surf the ground. And she continued to let the odd rock pull her to whatever it was that she was going to.

And then she hit it.

* * *

Almost. Zuko caught her before she did. It might have been very painful.

Not for her, but for the huge statue standing in front of her.

She dropped the small rock to then ground and stood in awe.

It was her. A 100 foot statue of her smiling proudly, wearing her metal bending cop uniform.

He started rambling.

And his heart was thumping loud, fast.

"He's blushing I bet," Toph thought.

"I had it done in secret. I had the best earth benders, obviously not better than you but, oh spirits, side tracking again. So they carved this while surrounded by water so you couldn't see it or find it."

"It's a new kind of element, magnetic, but only when the poles are aligned. Very strong. I had to be careful the present didn't flip over or else it wouldn't have flown towards the statu-"

She grabbed him and smashed her lips against him. Rough, Toph was always rough. But it was alright with him.

They stayed there, embracing each other, kissing. She pulled away smiling, tears were in her eyes.

"Happy anniversary Toph," he said smiling.

A/N: So Zuko is forgiven for the shoes! Yay! Aww, I really didn't like how the ending turned out. It was how I planned the ending to be, but it was badly writted. Dislike.

I feel like they were a little OOC though! Especially Zuko. He'd get more angry and hot headed. Haha.

Constructive Criticism is welcome! Please favorite and Review.


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